So last night, my church held a viewing of the movie FireProof. Brandon and I were curious about the movie and had heard good things, plus there was free childcare involved, so we went. And our overall impression of the film? Positive. It was really good, sort of in spite of itself.
If you haven’t heard of it, you could probably google it and get a synopsis, but I’ll try to save you the trouble. Caleb and Katherine are a youngish couple that have been married for 7 years. Caleb is a firefighter who is a hero to everyone except his wife. There are various issues in their marriage, and after a big blow out of a fight, they are on the brink of divorce, Katherine saying “I want out.” So Caleb tells his dad they’re getting divorced. And his dad, a new Christian who also went through tough times in his marriage, pleads with him to wait 40 days before signing any papers, and during those 40 days, to complete “The Love Dare.” The Love Dare is a book of day-by-day instructions on things to do for your spouse, such as “Don’t say anything negative to your spouse today. Cook your spouse dinner today.” That sort of thing. Caleb reluctantly agrees to this method of “fireproofing” his marriage, and there you have your premise.
Sounds pretty cheesy, right? And it is sometimes, I’ll grant you. A few corny jokes, a few bits of over or under acting, a few pretty obvious firefighter/marriage metaphors (“You never leave your partner. Especially in a fire.”) And get this—Caleb is played by Kirk Cameron of Growing Pains and (cringe) the Left Behind movies. Oh no! Not another “Christian” movie! Well, hear me out.
I haven’t written much anything about my Christian faith in this blog so far for various reasons. A big reason is that I’m still trying to figure it out, and another big reason is that I don’t want my readers thinking I’m one of *those* Christians. The evangelical, uber-conservative, close-minded, loved-the-Left-Behind-movies kind of Christian. Not that those kinds of Christians are all bad. In fact, I am related to and friends with a few of those. But I don’t agree with them, and that’s not who I am. Anyway, enough with the sidebar here.Yes, FireProof is a little heavy on the evangelical side, but it actually works pretty well with the movie as a whole. More on that later.
I enjoyed/appreciated the following things about the film:
The fight at the beginning, though overacted and escalated a little too quickly, was actually a pretty realistic portrayal of the things married people fight about, how they fight, and the actual words they say. It starts with who ate the last bagel and before you know it, some very ugly accusations and personal attacks are thrown about. Then you realize the fight is not about bagels, but about some issues that have been bubbling and brewing, unresolved, for quite some time.
The Love Dare is difficult and unrewarding. Without giving away the plot, if you expect to see Katherine’s heart being melted a little each day, you will be disappointed (or relieved).
The issues in the marriage are real, and the movie deals with them honestly, but also tastefully. For instance, Caleb has an addiction to internet pornography, but we never see any questionable images or hear any questionable words. It’s not a full-fledged addiction because he can still function in society and doesn’t spend every spare moment on the computer or thinking about when he can get to a computer, but it’s getting dangerously close to a full-fledged addiction, and Katherine knows about it.
Brandon commented that he wasn’t sure the pornography issue should have been in the movie; not because he thought it was inappropriate, but because he wondered if couples watching the movie would think, “Well, neither of us is addicted to anything, so our marriage must be okay.” I see his point; however, I think the fact that the writer/director considered pornography to be a common enough issue to include it in the plot says something pretty big. It’s not the only thing that can break up a marriage, but it is a big factor in a lot of dysfunctional marriages—even Christian ones—and we need to address it.
More folks might identify with other issues also addressed in the movie—petty obsessions like saving up for the next big thing (a car, a boat, whatever) that take time, money, and desire away from your spouse; disagreements about household chores and who does them; not feeling listened to or respected; getting more satisfaction at work than at home; a lack of physical and/or emotional intimacy, and the list goes on.
Some parts are funny. It has those feel-good zinger moments a la Remember the Titans or The Great Debaters or some other Disney Denzel enterprise. I laughed out loud sometimes, I have to admit it.
It’s a tear-jerker. The emotional impact is significant at many different points in the plot. In some instances, I knew I was being manipulated, but I cried anyway, and I definitely wasn’t the only one. It wasn’t quite the sobfest of my all time favourite movie, Shadowlands with Anthony Hopkins—during which I will weep like a newborn babe every time, but it’s pretty high up there on the tearometer.
I agree with the message of the movie, which is bound to be controversial for some: The best marriages are anchored in Christ. I know, I know, I can hear you already: “My marriage is not anchored in Christ and it’s wonderful.” “The divorce rate is the same for Christians as it is for everybody else.” “Some of the ugliest marriage break-ups I’ve seen have been in Christian homes.” Okay. There may be some exceptions, or perhaps the “Christian” marriages that fail weren’t what they seemed. There’s a difference between a marriage between two people who profess to be Christians and a marriage that is truly anchored in Christ. Or perhaps your own wonderful non-Christ-anchored marriage could be even better and you don’t realize it. Bottom line: The best marriages are anchored in Christ. Sorry if you’re offended.
An Oscar contender it is not, but a film to be watched and discussed it certainly is. Do yourself and your marraige a favour and watch it.
word2yourmother 
Laura said,
March 30, 2009 @ 11:03 am
I really enjoyed the movie Fireproof too. One thing I did want to mention though, with respect to what you wrote, is the fact that more people struggle with a form of pornography then what you may think. It doesn’t have to be visual images, it can be written words (trashy romance novels) or even how they see people in every day lives (undressing with eyes, wondering what they look like without their clothes on etc.) I am learning this more and more.
Julie said,
March 30, 2009 @ 12:18 pm
I haven’t read this review yet — but our pastor recommended this to us a few weeks ago! Must be an “it movie” for CRCers.
I will go read, then possibly go watch.
word2yourmother said,
March 30, 2009 @ 4:17 pm
Laura, that’s a good point. In a way it is too bad that the movie had to deal with the issue in the traditional fashion, instead of stretching our ideas of what pornographic really means. That said, I’m glad they dealt with it somehow.
Julie, I thought you and Matt might want to watch it! It is an “it” movie for most Christian denominations right now I think, and deservedly so.